Session 19: Power of Positive Thinking

Following one of the worst sessions ever (see Session 18), I decided to "double-up" on class today and took two sessions in a row. It wasn't exactly planned, but the idea has in the back of my mind all week.

With a short 2-day trip to D.C. this weekend, I knew it would be difficult to meet my 30 days without falling behind on this commitment. And while this yoga thing is great, I'm not exactly enthusiastic about sacrificing time from my short vacation - which will be spent seeing friends, exhibits, and monuments in Washington DC - for the sake of meeting my '30-days in a row' goal.

So when my first practice today was filled with a multitude of distractions caused by neighboring yogis, I told myself I would at least consider taking a second class.

Normally this is a complete impossibility, totally unfathomable, and completely unreasonable to consider. People just don't do that! Not regular people, anyway. And I am still very much a regular person. I have yet to consider a handstand is a realistic possibility. Balance on my hands with my feet just in the air.. with no one holding my feet?! No. I don't do that.

In fact, I actively hold myself back. I tell myself I must first master the basics before I can go into anything that advanced. I don't even give myself the option of considering it. I mean, sure, I'll play around with the idea when the option is there, but it's always - "later" or "today is not that day."

But today was about reconciliation. That first practice wasn't a "real" class because it was filled with bad juju and negative energy. And, besides, the second class is shorter.

So I gave it a try. I moved my mat to a different part of the room (a cooler part!), got myself a coconut water (electrolyte replacement is key here), and gave it a shot. I figured that even if I only did some of the moves, I could probably get through it, even if I couldn't walk all weekend.

Molly & I with others in Namawanga, Kenya in 2007

My friend Molly happened to come to this class. As soon as I saw her it instantly elevated my mood. We chatted for a bit and I admitted how "crazy" I was for doing two classes in a row. When class started I began slowly, easing into each position. I made assumptions about how hard it would be. I warned myself that this could be a really bad idea. And I moved, each time, with no expectations. I was exploring, trying something new, and completely forgiving the limitations of my already sore muscles.

To my surprise, the class was actually not that hard. In fact, I really enjoyed it. I was able to bend deeper, to push myself farther, to really get into each pose far more than normal. Each time we moved into something that was challenging, I surprised myself with the ease in which I took it. And, by the end of class, I had reached total, complete bliss.

Photo from MLK Jr. Monument in Washington D.C.

So there you go. I guess it is possible to do nearly 3 hours of straight hot yoga and live to tell about it. And, even better, I have a renewed sense of possibility. Women in the career coaching business will tell you that women often discount themselves when they should be empowered. We assume we can't make a big career move, can't try out for the promotion, can't go on that vacation, can't have fun while we're under deadline pressure. But the truth is, that the only person that is telling us that we can't is ourselves.

And this is a good lesson to start thinking about what we can do. Explore possibilities. Try out something new. See what happens. It may not work out in your favor. Or it may be the best decision you ever made. You won't know it until you try. And, that, my friends is what really counts in the end.

For more inspiration, read Tara Sophia Mohr's 10 Rules for Brilliant Women.

Session 14: Every Day is Different

After 14 days I can say with confidence that every practice, every pose, is different. While there is routine to each day, I'm consistently surprised by the ease - or difficulty - when we move into new poses. Today, I had several surprises.

First, I couldn't seem to get into downward dog. I could hold the pose and make corrections, but my ligaments were stiff and unforgiving. The only way I could achieve the correct posture in my back was to bend my knees.. something that I have never had to do before. This got me thinking that I might be pushing too hard. I felt awkward and out of sync. Maybe I needed to take it easy.

Tree Pose

But when we moved into tree, I was surprised by the challenge. It was difficult to balance and focus on something that is normally easy. When I tried to look up in half moon, I fell over (thankfully not on my neighbor!). I couldn't seem to spinal twist in chair or twisting triangle.

Normally this would be frustrating, but there were other moments of complete and utter harmony. My sun salutations were brilliant. I practiced getting up into handstand (though I think this is a long-term commitment). And I was able to set up for 4 wheel poses, though not the most eloquent versions I have ever done.

But then we went into crow pose. Now, generally when we go to this pose a few things cross my mind. First I hear the instruction I received sometime last year during a small class: start in squat, bend elbows, downward dog hands, knees in armpits, rock forward. I breathe. Then I hear our teacher say "trust yourself." And I know that I already have the skill and strength to hold this pose, but what I lack is the confidence in myself to hold it. The confidence to trust that I will not fall forward and break my teeth.

Crane or Crow Pose, courtesy of TheGreenYogiMB

So the last thought I have is - I'll give it a try. Just see what happens. And today, it happened. It really really happened. I held the pose, I trusted myself, and I stayed up there. I even considered how I could grow more - could I straighten my legs? maybe move into a headstand? I held it long enough to point my toes, breathe, and smile. I was radiant.

Each day, each practice, each pose offers possibility. Sometimes we surprise ourselves with grace. Sometimes we face challenges in the routine. Today I experienced both and I'm grateful for it.

Your Body on Hot Yoga: First 9 Hours

I wanted to include an update on what has happened following my first session and remark on what I'm in for in the next month.

I left my first session totally exhausted, yet energized, feeling a sense of pride in my accomplishments. I was able hold more poses than I thought and, following the instruction of our teacher, started my practice from scratch - assuming no prior expertise and completely open to re-learning every pose. I didn't judge myself or have grand expectations, greeted each pose without judgement, and kept an open mind to see where I could go.

After class I went home to an apartment filled with friends just waking up following our New Years Eve event and Chris in the kitchen prepping brunch. I had a sense of pride and strutted my way in through the doorway to greet everyone lazily lounging on the couch. I smiled, yoga mat in hand, and prepared for the grand moment where I could satisfyingly show them up for ever doubting me. With a sly 'I told you so' grin, I walked into the living room to be greeted by a friend says "wow, you actually did hot yoga this morning? You look like hell." Well, there you go. I guess that's what I get for trying to show them up in the first place. My balloon deflated. I retreated to the shower.

Twisting pose - Courtesy of YogAnonymous.org

In the hours that followed, I ate and drank brunch as normal and enjoyed a bloody mary despite the small voice inside of me that would have preferred lighter fare. Naptime pronounced itself quite suddenly sometime during the first quarter of the Patriot's game and continued for a solid 3 hours. Upon awakening, I pooped, drank a gallon of water, had a snack, and pooped again (common side effect of hot yoga - lots of twists are great for your digestive tract! more on twisting in this article). By 6pm, the Patriots had long since won the game (with 49 unanswered points!) and I finally felt human enough to clean myself up, get fancy, and head down south for a night out with friends.

I was certainly thankful for starting this effort with a day off. Not sure if I really would have been able to do this without having a lot of down time.. mostly because of the sleep deprivation and drinking, of course! But as I head out I wonder how my choices tonight (yoga rule: you will be reminded of what you previously ate and drank during class) will affect me tomorrow and with one more day off before the start of the workweek, I take comfort knowing that tomorrow comes without obligation. If I were to take a lesson from the experience so far, it would be that everything seems so much easier when you relax expectations and allow yourself to be a part of each moment as it comes. Now if only I could actually apply that to the rest of my life...