Session 18: Your Surrounding Environment

It's no secret that your surrounding environment affects you. This is pretty obvious in an office work setting. An uncomfortable chair, bad lighting, or an irritating neighbor can dramatically affect your mood, your productivity, and your general happiness.

Maybe the arms in your chair are too high and they always bump your desk when you turn around. Maybe a fluorescent light has just reached the end of its useful life and incessantly flickers all day. Or maybe your neighbor spends an entire morning talking loudly on the phone with a client.

All of these things are minor on their own, but when you are stressed about an impending deadline, or your still steaming from the argument you had with a friend/spouse the night prior, these small things can push you over the edge and lead to you saying or doing things you wouldn't normally do.

When I get irritated at work for a stupid reason, like my boss saying something sarcastic that I decided to interpret as a personal assault against my character (rather than a joke), I can usually trace it back to that guy that ran a red light during my commute and nearly hit me or maybe a deadline got pushed up that I wasn't anticipating, leaving me to worry about how I would fit this change into my schedule for the week.

Usually I spend those days blasting my iPod, stewing on the negative for a while, and giving off the "don't you DARE talk to me" vibe. When that doesn't work, I usually share a portion of my irritation with others: "can you BELIEVE she has been on the phone all day?!" or "what the hell was THAT supposed to mean?!". And, in the very rare case (it's happened twice in the last three years) where my irritation has completely derailed any hope of productivity for the day, I own my anger/irritation, and do everyone a favor by leaving for the day.

One of the things I realized during practice today was that leaving the scene of a bad mood can be great for your neighbors (let's face it, no one wants to be around an angry person) and your productivity (last time I left for this reason I ended up working 10 hours straight from home .. which not only addressed the thing that was stressing me out, it also allowed me to make amends with the opposition), but it's bad for your emotional health.

Leaving is an act of disengagement. Running away from something that is difficult, while alleviating the environmental stress of the scene, denies you of the opportunity to learn HOW to deal with it.

Let me preface my yoga experience with acknowledging that I had a particularly nice day at work today. Everything went smoothly, people were responsive and helpful, and my cube neighbors broke up the day with occasional conversation. In fact, it was such a productive day that I was able to go to the earlier class - something that I wanted, but believed to be a lofty goal, given my workload.  So when I arrived at class today I had no expectations. I was just there to enjoy myself, get into the practice, and maybe learn something new.

Class started off fine, but from the beginning I was a little awkward and it was difficult to find the correct alignment in standing poses. As the room started to heat up, I found myself getting frustrated by the awkwardness of my body in poses I had done hundreds of times. When I moved from one position to another, I had to spend extra time moving and twisting. Every pose was so challenging that I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I started making verbal excuses in my mind: I was just having a bad day, it's hard to do this every day, I spent too much time in basics classes this week.

I started getting frustrated. Frustrated and angry.

As the anger built, I moved to child's pose and tried to trace back WHY I was so angry. What could have possibly set me off? I had a good day at work. I got everything done that I needed to. I was going on vacation first thing tomorrow morning. I was physically strong. And I had all of these motions a hundred times before.

I looked around me.

My neighbor to the left had her feet up on the wall, completely disengaged from the class. Before class started, she had an incident with someone else when she moved her mat from another position to the spot next to mine because to have a buffer. When the person said they would be willing to move and apologized, she refused and kept saying "it's not you, it's me." I had seen her a lot before and, for whatever reason, just didn't like her. She had an aggressive look, like if I moved the wrong way she would attack me. In previous interactions I had intentionally smiled and observed when she had pleasant conversations with other people. But today, with that strange interaction before class and her complete disengagement in the class made me feel surprisingly uncomfortable. Why bother going to class if you're not going to participate?

To my right was a girl I hadn't seen before. She was a little overweight and it was clear this was one of her first classes. She had a pleasant smile and generally seemed fine. But class wiped her out and she spent most of the time in child's pose.

Behind me was a pair of friends, one of which was crowding me for no reason. They occasionally talked to each other during class. I mean.. seriously?

In front of me was a girl who, if such a thing existed, appeared to be practicing for the yoga olympics (yogalympics). I do admire the work that it takes to get into handstands, but something about her energy made me feel like I was in a competition (this happens every once in a while.. I can't place how, but you can tell when someone is being competitive) and/or at some kind of variety show. Unfortunately for her, I have seen Cirque du Soleil and was not impressed.

But I had brought my own negative energy to class as well, though I didn't know it until this moment. Earlier today someone had sent me an email about a volunteer program they wanted to start up. They were adamant about talking as soon as possible and I found myself giving too much time to them when I had other more important things to do for the same organization. I react emotionally when people seem like they are trying to waste my time, particularly when it's in regards to a volunteer activity, and even more so when their motivation is all about self-promotion.

So there it was. I was in a nexus of bad juju and I would be stuck there for the remainder of class. I would address my irritation by staying through this class, in child's pose with everyone else (no yogalympics for me), stewing in my own frustration and anger.

And while I cannot reasonably blame my environment for the foulness of my mood and a soured practice, I have at least begun to acknowledge that the quality of my internal practice is a reflection of how I perceive my external environment. It's possible to be stubborn enough to stick through discomfort because all feelings eventually pass. {And they pass a lot faster when you're rescued from yourself by a friend, good conversation, and a glass of wine!}

Session 12: Stop Thinking About it!

It seems silly, but I would say that my hardest pose to date, the one I have the most trouble focusing and growing in, is shavasana (corpse pose). We end each practice with several minutes in a calm, dark room, that is nearly silent. The goal of this pose is to be still, clear your head, and earnestly rest before you move on to whatever comes next in your day. This was not always difficult for me, but lately it's been very challenging. So
today when my instructor totally caught us in the act, I thought I would share some of his wisdom because most of us suffer from distracted thinking and even when it's welcome, it's not always what is best for us.

Since the beginning of this adventure I have noticed that my approach to class has shifted. In my former life, I would - like most other people - attend class when I wanted to, mostly for the physical practice, but also to sort of check out of life for a while. I didn't think in class very much, sort of just accepted what was there and did what I could. But now I'm on a path towards.. something. And rather than just attending each class, I consider every hour to be one piece of a larger, overarching experience. I keep unintentionally making marks for myself - assuming class will get easier tomorrow, or the next day. A common phrase is: "by the end of this I will be ..... " because, of course, I can't be the same person afterwards, I have to be different - that's the point, right?

Ah, well, no - not really.

The thing is that I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I'm doing (each pose, what's next, are my hips pointing in the right direction? can I go deeper?) and not enough time experiencing the practice, as I mentioned in the Session 9 post. Sidenote: Jenna Marbles has a funny video about this. Today the narration had quieted for the most part. But I couldn't help laughing when the instructor brought it up.

The thing is, and I know a lot of us do this, we LOVE to think about stuff. Here are two common forms of distracted thinking:

1. You don't want to do what you're doing and you seek out distraction. This can either be internal (picture you, staring off into space, in protest of doing whatever you 'should be' doing): where you think about what you did last night, plan for weekend, consider something you read recently, think about your pets; or external: check facebook, check your email, text your friend, check facebook again, read an article that's sort of work-related, write on your blog, do your time sheet, watch that video someone mentioned, check facebook again... When you are successful, you'll find that you can sometimes pass a lot of time while appearing to be busy and enjoying at least mildly enjoying yourself.

• In yoga class this kind of distraction comes from allowing your thoughts to wander. Maybe you think about your neighbor or a person near you and what they're doing. Maybe you think about someone's mat (that's a thin mat, I wonder if it's a rental.. no, not a rental, but really used.. maybe he's a writer, he kind of looks like a writer..), their water bottle (I miss my nalgene bottle.. maybe I'll get another one.. i brought it to kenya the first time.. that was a good trip..), or their sweet yoga gear (sweet yoga tights! I wonder if she bought it at Athleta... was that the summer issue or early fall?.. i wonder if they still sell them.. maybe they're on sale now..)

2. You're so emotionally connected to a recent event, you obsess about it for hours. This is the worst kind because it can be literally paralyzing. Maybe you got in a fight with your significant other or a good friend. Maybe you had a great date or a recent flirtation that you can't help but completely indulge in processing it over and over again. I have a lot of friends that admittedly do this, so I imagine that most of us are guilty

• In yoga this would basically be the same thing as when you're at your desk, pretending to work. The nice thing about thoughts is that they are so portable. I can take my thoughts from one asana to another. I can take them up and down my sun salutations and try to cast them out of strengthening poses. But when they're strong emotional thoughts they are really hard to shake. After a while, it feels like they're following you.

Sometimes distracted thinking can be an asset. Maybe you realize something that will help remedy an issue. Maybe you think of something nice to do for your friend. Maybe you obsess about it until it stops bothering (or exciting) you.

But if you really want to do what is best for you, most of the time that means STOP IT. Stop thinking about it. No more. Cut it out. Give up already. Here are three ways to clear your mind:

Source plus Article on "How to Meditate"

1. Breathe. Focus on your breath. Extend the length of each inhale and exhale. Consider rotating or moving with your breath.

2. Turn your thoughts upside down! If you're thinking negative thoughts, turn it around by thinking of something positive about the person, the event, or something that makes you happy. If it's positive, consider what you're missing out on when you spend your time thinking about other things - is this really the best thing for your work day?

3. Listen to music that focuses you. In Ally McBeal everyone had a theme song, something they could listen to that would aid whatever situation they faced. I choose 70s classic rock or Enya. It sounds out of touch, but you can get it loud enough to drown out distracting noises and it's still not coherent enough to occupy your attention.

Photo courtesy of AleighEdwards.com

Whatever you choose, do what's best for you at the time. And consider what you miss out on when you're distracted. Class is a thousand times easier when I don't narrate every pose, when I'm actually present at each moment, and when I choose to experience it as a whole. And I would argue that work goes by a lot faster (and I'm more productive) when I'm actually in it. Plus, I feel better afterwards. 

Breathing meditation is a great tool as well. I use it nearly every shavasana to help focus and calm my mind, or if I'm having trouble falling asleep, and it has helped me focus at work. Select the link to learn more. 

Session 5: A Lion and a Swallow

During tonight's class our instructor mentioned that inside all of us there are two energies - a fierce, unyielding power (lion) and a nurturing, graceful swallow. I think we can all agree that of course that is true. Sometimes I'm super nice, other times I'm, well, not. But lately, I'm mostly the swallow and I can't help wondering if by the end of this whole thing I'm going to end up being one of those uber-nice, sickly sweet, peace-loving people that I used to avoid like the plague simply because I didn't understand them. I guess there are worse things.

Physically, I change every day. In tonight's practice I still needed to take a break at moments when I normally wouldn't need to (if my frequency was one class a week), but my abs are stronger, my arms are more defined, and I feel taller. Legit - I honestly feel like I've grown an inch. When I walk, my body is more upright. When I stand, it's with a surprising presence.

Tadasana (Mountain Pose) courtesy of Yogajournal.com

And so today it seems only appropriate to focus on the tallest of all poses, mountain pose. It's a pose that is often taken for granted. After all, we have been standing most of our lives, so how hard could it be?  My instructor walked us through this tonight and I can tell you, it's not. You can read all about how to do it in this article on Tadasana at yogajournal.com.

Just as with most poses, there are many ways you can approach this posture. The instructor focused on two (the theme was finding unity in opposition). You can muscle through it, pushing yourself harder and deeper just to get through or you can work on flexibility, finding length and space through alignment.



And perhaps the lesson which resignates most with me is that each day, each practice is different. Sometimes you muscle through it and push yourself to build strength and power. And other times you focus on breathing, on finding depth and space in places where you didn't have it before. It's the combination of the two - strength and flexibility, feirce and nuturing, ying and yang - that makes us whole.

To take this one step further, we all have good days and bad days. Understanding that we must experience one to experience the other gives you peace and that, to me, is beautiful.

Session 4: Food = Fuel and Why Salt is OK

Session 4 kicked my butt. Ironically, it was a short basics class which focused mostly on positioning your body correctly in each movement and a lot less posture-intensive from the all levels version. Yet, still, I found myself in child's pose while our instructor narrated breathing through the discomfort in our first position. I "cheated" with knees whenever possible just to give my shoulders a rest. I "took a break" to get hydrated not because I was thirsty, but because I just couldn't hack it. And I celebrated, quietly and to myself, when we reached the end of class.

And since I had reached this point already (didn't I say just yesterday how I couldn't wait for the next class?? That's what I get..), it seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask the instructor for some tips on surviving and thriving (yoga word) in the next month. Here is her advice:

• First, congratulate yourself for making a commitment to furthering your practice and to your physical and (sometimes) spiritual well being. Yoga is a holistic practice which can inspire and change your life {and it has - I'll post more on life changing experiences of others later}.
• Second, don't try to do every move. Instead, only participate in postures that nourish and further your practice {I laughed when she said this - that's easy! I couldn't do them all if I wanted to!}
• Also, make sure to hydrate consistently {more about hydration later}
• When you drink, you want to replace electrolytes lost during the practice. {Full article on hot yoga and electrolytes here through Livestrong.com}
• Make sure to eat salt (especially if you're craving it) {and I was!}
• And if the heat is wearing you down, do a session at home (out of the heat) just to give your body a break or take a day off. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Her advice was, if nothing else, spot on and I appreciated every bit of it. {You don't have to tell me twice to add more salt to my diet!} But there was one piece of advice which I totally threw out the window and I would highly recommend others considering an intense physical commitment like this one to do the same: add more heat!

After a class where my body was absolutely exhausted, sore, and all muddled up with lactic acid, I knew that the best thing for me was to get to a hot tub and work it out.. and that's just what I did. After an hour between the hot tub, the shower, and the steam room at my fru-fru gym (healthworks is one of the top rated women's gyms in the country) I felt like I had switched bodies. It was amazing.

To take this as a lesson, regardless of who you are getting advice from - whether it be a highly practiced yoga instructor or your boss - just keep in mind that sometimes you do know what's best for you. And I don't mean use that as an excuse to avoid doing something you don't want to do - I mean do exactly what is the best thing for your body, mind, or soul regardless of what others think your limitations are.