Session 19: Power of Positive Thinking

Following one of the worst sessions ever (see Session 18), I decided to "double-up" on class today and took two sessions in a row. It wasn't exactly planned, but the idea has in the back of my mind all week.

With a short 2-day trip to D.C. this weekend, I knew it would be difficult to meet my 30 days without falling behind on this commitment. And while this yoga thing is great, I'm not exactly enthusiastic about sacrificing time from my short vacation - which will be spent seeing friends, exhibits, and monuments in Washington DC - for the sake of meeting my '30-days in a row' goal.

So when my first practice today was filled with a multitude of distractions caused by neighboring yogis, I told myself I would at least consider taking a second class.

Normally this is a complete impossibility, totally unfathomable, and completely unreasonable to consider. People just don't do that! Not regular people, anyway. And I am still very much a regular person. I have yet to consider a handstand is a realistic possibility. Balance on my hands with my feet just in the air.. with no one holding my feet?! No. I don't do that.

In fact, I actively hold myself back. I tell myself I must first master the basics before I can go into anything that advanced. I don't even give myself the option of considering it. I mean, sure, I'll play around with the idea when the option is there, but it's always - "later" or "today is not that day."

But today was about reconciliation. That first practice wasn't a "real" class because it was filled with bad juju and negative energy. And, besides, the second class is shorter.

So I gave it a try. I moved my mat to a different part of the room (a cooler part!), got myself a coconut water (electrolyte replacement is key here), and gave it a shot. I figured that even if I only did some of the moves, I could probably get through it, even if I couldn't walk all weekend.

Molly & I with others in Namawanga, Kenya in 2007

My friend Molly happened to come to this class. As soon as I saw her it instantly elevated my mood. We chatted for a bit and I admitted how "crazy" I was for doing two classes in a row. When class started I began slowly, easing into each position. I made assumptions about how hard it would be. I warned myself that this could be a really bad idea. And I moved, each time, with no expectations. I was exploring, trying something new, and completely forgiving the limitations of my already sore muscles.

To my surprise, the class was actually not that hard. In fact, I really enjoyed it. I was able to bend deeper, to push myself farther, to really get into each pose far more than normal. Each time we moved into something that was challenging, I surprised myself with the ease in which I took it. And, by the end of class, I had reached total, complete bliss.

Photo from MLK Jr. Monument in Washington D.C.

So there you go. I guess it is possible to do nearly 3 hours of straight hot yoga and live to tell about it. And, even better, I have a renewed sense of possibility. Women in the career coaching business will tell you that women often discount themselves when they should be empowered. We assume we can't make a big career move, can't try out for the promotion, can't go on that vacation, can't have fun while we're under deadline pressure. But the truth is, that the only person that is telling us that we can't is ourselves.

And this is a good lesson to start thinking about what we can do. Explore possibilities. Try out something new. See what happens. It may not work out in your favor. Or it may be the best decision you ever made. You won't know it until you try. And, that, my friends is what really counts in the end.

For more inspiration, read Tara Sophia Mohr's 10 Rules for Brilliant Women.

Session 18: Your Surrounding Environment

It's no secret that your surrounding environment affects you. This is pretty obvious in an office work setting. An uncomfortable chair, bad lighting, or an irritating neighbor can dramatically affect your mood, your productivity, and your general happiness.

Maybe the arms in your chair are too high and they always bump your desk when you turn around. Maybe a fluorescent light has just reached the end of its useful life and incessantly flickers all day. Or maybe your neighbor spends an entire morning talking loudly on the phone with a client.

All of these things are minor on their own, but when you are stressed about an impending deadline, or your still steaming from the argument you had with a friend/spouse the night prior, these small things can push you over the edge and lead to you saying or doing things you wouldn't normally do.

When I get irritated at work for a stupid reason, like my boss saying something sarcastic that I decided to interpret as a personal assault against my character (rather than a joke), I can usually trace it back to that guy that ran a red light during my commute and nearly hit me or maybe a deadline got pushed up that I wasn't anticipating, leaving me to worry about how I would fit this change into my schedule for the week.

Usually I spend those days blasting my iPod, stewing on the negative for a while, and giving off the "don't you DARE talk to me" vibe. When that doesn't work, I usually share a portion of my irritation with others: "can you BELIEVE she has been on the phone all day?!" or "what the hell was THAT supposed to mean?!". And, in the very rare case (it's happened twice in the last three years) where my irritation has completely derailed any hope of productivity for the day, I own my anger/irritation, and do everyone a favor by leaving for the day.

One of the things I realized during practice today was that leaving the scene of a bad mood can be great for your neighbors (let's face it, no one wants to be around an angry person) and your productivity (last time I left for this reason I ended up working 10 hours straight from home .. which not only addressed the thing that was stressing me out, it also allowed me to make amends with the opposition), but it's bad for your emotional health.

Leaving is an act of disengagement. Running away from something that is difficult, while alleviating the environmental stress of the scene, denies you of the opportunity to learn HOW to deal with it.

Let me preface my yoga experience with acknowledging that I had a particularly nice day at work today. Everything went smoothly, people were responsive and helpful, and my cube neighbors broke up the day with occasional conversation. In fact, it was such a productive day that I was able to go to the earlier class - something that I wanted, but believed to be a lofty goal, given my workload.  So when I arrived at class today I had no expectations. I was just there to enjoy myself, get into the practice, and maybe learn something new.

Class started off fine, but from the beginning I was a little awkward and it was difficult to find the correct alignment in standing poses. As the room started to heat up, I found myself getting frustrated by the awkwardness of my body in poses I had done hundreds of times. When I moved from one position to another, I had to spend extra time moving and twisting. Every pose was so challenging that I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I started making verbal excuses in my mind: I was just having a bad day, it's hard to do this every day, I spent too much time in basics classes this week.

I started getting frustrated. Frustrated and angry.

As the anger built, I moved to child's pose and tried to trace back WHY I was so angry. What could have possibly set me off? I had a good day at work. I got everything done that I needed to. I was going on vacation first thing tomorrow morning. I was physically strong. And I had all of these motions a hundred times before.

I looked around me.

My neighbor to the left had her feet up on the wall, completely disengaged from the class. Before class started, she had an incident with someone else when she moved her mat from another position to the spot next to mine because to have a buffer. When the person said they would be willing to move and apologized, she refused and kept saying "it's not you, it's me." I had seen her a lot before and, for whatever reason, just didn't like her. She had an aggressive look, like if I moved the wrong way she would attack me. In previous interactions I had intentionally smiled and observed when she had pleasant conversations with other people. But today, with that strange interaction before class and her complete disengagement in the class made me feel surprisingly uncomfortable. Why bother going to class if you're not going to participate?

To my right was a girl I hadn't seen before. She was a little overweight and it was clear this was one of her first classes. She had a pleasant smile and generally seemed fine. But class wiped her out and she spent most of the time in child's pose.

Behind me was a pair of friends, one of which was crowding me for no reason. They occasionally talked to each other during class. I mean.. seriously?

In front of me was a girl who, if such a thing existed, appeared to be practicing for the yoga olympics (yogalympics). I do admire the work that it takes to get into handstands, but something about her energy made me feel like I was in a competition (this happens every once in a while.. I can't place how, but you can tell when someone is being competitive) and/or at some kind of variety show. Unfortunately for her, I have seen Cirque du Soleil and was not impressed.

But I had brought my own negative energy to class as well, though I didn't know it until this moment. Earlier today someone had sent me an email about a volunteer program they wanted to start up. They were adamant about talking as soon as possible and I found myself giving too much time to them when I had other more important things to do for the same organization. I react emotionally when people seem like they are trying to waste my time, particularly when it's in regards to a volunteer activity, and even more so when their motivation is all about self-promotion.

So there it was. I was in a nexus of bad juju and I would be stuck there for the remainder of class. I would address my irritation by staying through this class, in child's pose with everyone else (no yogalympics for me), stewing in my own frustration and anger.

And while I cannot reasonably blame my environment for the foulness of my mood and a soured practice, I have at least begun to acknowledge that the quality of my internal practice is a reflection of how I perceive my external environment. It's possible to be stubborn enough to stick through discomfort because all feelings eventually pass. {And they pass a lot faster when you're rescued from yourself by a friend, good conversation, and a glass of wine!}

Session 15: Forgiveness

Sometimes it's hard to decide what is best for you. I was absolutely exhausted today. Every muscle, every ligament, every fiber in my body was sore when I woke up this morning. I felt achy, tired, and a little defeated. My brain wanted to get ready for yoga: it rationalized the benefits, projected images of the room, conjured the feeling of the mat against my toes, and reminded my body of times past when I was grateful for pushing myself to go.

But my body was adamant against any challenge today. And I responded, appropriately, with a backup plan. Take a later class, I said, or do a video at home. Maybe I just needed to get out of the heat. Maybe I just needed a slower paced class. Maybe I just need to rest for another hour.

Well, actually, no, Julie. What you need is real rest. Like the kind of rest that involves sitting around and doing nothing, taking afternoon naps, and reading on the couch. And I almost believed that. But sometimes it's hard to accept what is best for you, especially when you can call it names: lazy, weak, quitter, and anything that comes after the word "can't."

The truth is, despite my body's unwillingness to move, I went back and forth a dozen times on whether or not to go to yoga today. But as I clung to my yoga gear in a last minute push "to just do it," I realized that the only reason I had to attend class today was not for my benefit, but to fulfill the commitment of 30 straight days. And when I distilled this commitment down to what I most hope to achieve during this time, forgiveness is among the most important. So I suppose that means that I do have to forgive my body for being exhausted and I have to forgive my mind for all of the choices that I made which lead up to my current physical state.

I like to relate the lessons that I learn through this experience back to my personal and professional life and this is among the most obvious ones. It is so easy to get wrapped up in results. When something doesn't go as you expected, you can recount all of the choices you made which lead to the result. You can blame others for the circumstances that forced you to make a choice. You can spend a lot of time beating yourself up for things that didn't go your way. Or, and this is the lesson, we could just forgive ourselves and consider that an opportunity rather than a failure.

Photo courtesy of Miller-Mccune.com

Session 14: Every Day is Different

After 14 days I can say with confidence that every practice, every pose, is different. While there is routine to each day, I'm consistently surprised by the ease - or difficulty - when we move into new poses. Today, I had several surprises.

First, I couldn't seem to get into downward dog. I could hold the pose and make corrections, but my ligaments were stiff and unforgiving. The only way I could achieve the correct posture in my back was to bend my knees.. something that I have never had to do before. This got me thinking that I might be pushing too hard. I felt awkward and out of sync. Maybe I needed to take it easy.

Tree Pose

But when we moved into tree, I was surprised by the challenge. It was difficult to balance and focus on something that is normally easy. When I tried to look up in half moon, I fell over (thankfully not on my neighbor!). I couldn't seem to spinal twist in chair or twisting triangle.

Normally this would be frustrating, but there were other moments of complete and utter harmony. My sun salutations were brilliant. I practiced getting up into handstand (though I think this is a long-term commitment). And I was able to set up for 4 wheel poses, though not the most eloquent versions I have ever done.

But then we went into crow pose. Now, generally when we go to this pose a few things cross my mind. First I hear the instruction I received sometime last year during a small class: start in squat, bend elbows, downward dog hands, knees in armpits, rock forward. I breathe. Then I hear our teacher say "trust yourself." And I know that I already have the skill and strength to hold this pose, but what I lack is the confidence in myself to hold it. The confidence to trust that I will not fall forward and break my teeth.

Crane or Crow Pose, courtesy of TheGreenYogiMB

So the last thought I have is - I'll give it a try. Just see what happens. And today, it happened. It really really happened. I held the pose, I trusted myself, and I stayed up there. I even considered how I could grow more - could I straighten my legs? maybe move into a headstand? I held it long enough to point my toes, breathe, and smile. I was radiant.

Each day, each practice, each pose offers possibility. Sometimes we surprise ourselves with grace. Sometimes we face challenges in the routine. Today I experienced both and I'm grateful for it.

Session 12: Stop Thinking About it!

It seems silly, but I would say that my hardest pose to date, the one I have the most trouble focusing and growing in, is shavasana (corpse pose). We end each practice with several minutes in a calm, dark room, that is nearly silent. The goal of this pose is to be still, clear your head, and earnestly rest before you move on to whatever comes next in your day. This was not always difficult for me, but lately it's been very challenging. So
today when my instructor totally caught us in the act, I thought I would share some of his wisdom because most of us suffer from distracted thinking and even when it's welcome, it's not always what is best for us.

Since the beginning of this adventure I have noticed that my approach to class has shifted. In my former life, I would - like most other people - attend class when I wanted to, mostly for the physical practice, but also to sort of check out of life for a while. I didn't think in class very much, sort of just accepted what was there and did what I could. But now I'm on a path towards.. something. And rather than just attending each class, I consider every hour to be one piece of a larger, overarching experience. I keep unintentionally making marks for myself - assuming class will get easier tomorrow, or the next day. A common phrase is: "by the end of this I will be ..... " because, of course, I can't be the same person afterwards, I have to be different - that's the point, right?

Ah, well, no - not really.

The thing is that I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I'm doing (each pose, what's next, are my hips pointing in the right direction? can I go deeper?) and not enough time experiencing the practice, as I mentioned in the Session 9 post. Sidenote: Jenna Marbles has a funny video about this. Today the narration had quieted for the most part. But I couldn't help laughing when the instructor brought it up.

The thing is, and I know a lot of us do this, we LOVE to think about stuff. Here are two common forms of distracted thinking:

1. You don't want to do what you're doing and you seek out distraction. This can either be internal (picture you, staring off into space, in protest of doing whatever you 'should be' doing): where you think about what you did last night, plan for weekend, consider something you read recently, think about your pets; or external: check facebook, check your email, text your friend, check facebook again, read an article that's sort of work-related, write on your blog, do your time sheet, watch that video someone mentioned, check facebook again... When you are successful, you'll find that you can sometimes pass a lot of time while appearing to be busy and enjoying at least mildly enjoying yourself.

• In yoga class this kind of distraction comes from allowing your thoughts to wander. Maybe you think about your neighbor or a person near you and what they're doing. Maybe you think about someone's mat (that's a thin mat, I wonder if it's a rental.. no, not a rental, but really used.. maybe he's a writer, he kind of looks like a writer..), their water bottle (I miss my nalgene bottle.. maybe I'll get another one.. i brought it to kenya the first time.. that was a good trip..), or their sweet yoga gear (sweet yoga tights! I wonder if she bought it at Athleta... was that the summer issue or early fall?.. i wonder if they still sell them.. maybe they're on sale now..)

2. You're so emotionally connected to a recent event, you obsess about it for hours. This is the worst kind because it can be literally paralyzing. Maybe you got in a fight with your significant other or a good friend. Maybe you had a great date or a recent flirtation that you can't help but completely indulge in processing it over and over again. I have a lot of friends that admittedly do this, so I imagine that most of us are guilty

• In yoga this would basically be the same thing as when you're at your desk, pretending to work. The nice thing about thoughts is that they are so portable. I can take my thoughts from one asana to another. I can take them up and down my sun salutations and try to cast them out of strengthening poses. But when they're strong emotional thoughts they are really hard to shake. After a while, it feels like they're following you.

Sometimes distracted thinking can be an asset. Maybe you realize something that will help remedy an issue. Maybe you think of something nice to do for your friend. Maybe you obsess about it until it stops bothering (or exciting) you.

But if you really want to do what is best for you, most of the time that means STOP IT. Stop thinking about it. No more. Cut it out. Give up already. Here are three ways to clear your mind:

Source plus Article on "How to Meditate"

1. Breathe. Focus on your breath. Extend the length of each inhale and exhale. Consider rotating or moving with your breath.

2. Turn your thoughts upside down! If you're thinking negative thoughts, turn it around by thinking of something positive about the person, the event, or something that makes you happy. If it's positive, consider what you're missing out on when you spend your time thinking about other things - is this really the best thing for your work day?

3. Listen to music that focuses you. In Ally McBeal everyone had a theme song, something they could listen to that would aid whatever situation they faced. I choose 70s classic rock or Enya. It sounds out of touch, but you can get it loud enough to drown out distracting noises and it's still not coherent enough to occupy your attention.

Photo courtesy of AleighEdwards.com

Whatever you choose, do what's best for you at the time. And consider what you miss out on when you're distracted. Class is a thousand times easier when I don't narrate every pose, when I'm actually present at each moment, and when I choose to experience it as a whole. And I would argue that work goes by a lot faster (and I'm more productive) when I'm actually in it. Plus, I feel better afterwards. 

Breathing meditation is a great tool as well. I use it nearly every shavasana to help focus and calm my mind, or if I'm having trouble falling asleep, and it has helped me focus at work. Select the link to learn more. 

Session 9: Pushing Through Misses the Point

Towards the end of the practice today the instructor said "This is your experience. You choose how you want to experience it. If you want it to be difficult, it will be difficult. If you want it to be easy, it will be easy. But know that whatever you choose, it was what you sought out."

Good Advertising by Hard Tail Clothing

She was talking to me. As she said it, I was breathing through extreme discomfort in pigeon pose. And this the part where I confess I'm an idiot. Pigeon always comes at the end of the class because it is calming and relaxing. Through this pose, your hips open while you rest and rinse out all of the work you just did. Or at least that's the idea. For me, pigeon was my chance to get in one more difficult stretch, my chance to get that much closer to the really flexible ladies that try to convince me to buy over-valued yoga pants by holding difficult and awkward poses. It was my opportunity to keep pushing myself towards possibility, success, enlightenment. Sure, class is difficult now (I would tell myself), but it will be easy soon enough.

What was I thinking?

I have been practicing with the assumption that pushing myself through each pose, holding while my shoulders scream in pain, breathing through extreme discomfort, will make me stronger. And, only when I'm stronger, when I have earned the right to an easier practice, will I actually start enjoying myself. I kept saying "the first week will be difficult, but after that it gets easier" and I earnestly believed that was true. 

But yoga doesn't ever get "easy." And while I do want to advance my practice into harder poses, it's not going to happen tomorrow. It might not ever happen. So why spend the next 21 days torchering myself during the "resting" portion of class when I could be enjoying it?

And sure, I did say from the beginning that this is the "hard" studio. But that is also a lie. It's not the studio, or the heat, or the Baptiste method that is challenging, it's me. And not only is this ridiculous perspective ineffective on the yoga mat, it's also an ineffective approach to life.

So I thought a little bit more about where this ridiculous perspective came from.. and it made me realize something about myself.

Daniel Burrus, CEO of Burrus Research recently wrote "There's no competetive advantage in being just like everyone else" in a recent publication for ThoughtLeaders.

The truth is, that difficult is the approach I take with life. I measure success based on pain - stress at work, overwhelming volunteer commitments, social engagements, lectures, and networking sessions every night, exercise that leaves me limping for days. And for whatever reason, I've convinced myself that pain is the measure of success, and success is happiness. The truth is, that a lot of us approach life this way. We think that if we are not continuously seeing a progression towards something, it's because we effed up.

Photo courtesy of Healthy Nutrition Expert

What I'm here to say tonight is: that idea of sacrifice will lead to success is completely false. Pain leads to pain, and greater expectations. At work, when you get things done through overtime, personal sacrifice, and working through lunch breaks while your friends all go out.. guess what you get? More opportunities to do just that. When you overcommit for volunteer events.. what do you get? The expectation that you can do more, that things are easy for you, and that you enjoy doing it. When you put friends or family consistently before yourself, even when it's not necessary, you generate an expectation that you will always put them first, even if it means you sacrifice your needs for some convenience for them.

And all of that is great. It makes you seem like you are invincible, that you are reliable, and successful, and a great friend to have. But are you better for it? Is anyone better for it? Every situation, every relationship, every job, every yoga practice is different. But who you now shouldn't always be about who you will be tomorrow, sometimes it needs to be about this moment.

I have a coworker that I recently acknowledged for her talent with setting boundaries. There is no question that she is fantastic at her job. She volunteers regularly and occasionally participates in after-work extracurriculars. And yet, when someone asks her to do something outside of scope, or increases expectations beyond what she has time to do, she says NO. She says no, and people respect her for it. She says no, and they keep coming back for more work. I absolutely admire her for that and I continually commend her for easily setting others expectations where they should be and keeps her well-being, and her personal relationships, ahead of sacrifice.

So tomorrow night will be different. I have made a commitment to focus on growing emotionally with my practice, rather than against it. I can't say that I'm a changed person, but at least I'm getting closer to what I don't want to be.. and that's at least a start.

Video Resources, Links, and Other Helpful Pieces of Information

In my last post I mentioned that there are video resources available for you to use to practice at home. Here is a summary of what I use (or have used in the past). This is certainly not an exhaustive list, but it's a good place to start.

Yoga Journal
Yoga Journal is one of the (if not the most) most well read yoga publications out there. Here is a link to their expansive collection of videos for your viewing pleasure.

Baron Baptiste

Baron Baptiste on DVD

Full confession: I go to Baptiste Power Yoga Institute in Cambridge. And I will admit that they weren't my default studio before I took on this month-long challenge. But if you want to learn yoga, or just follow a class on video, this is my best recommendation. He has produced a host of videos, many of which have been available for streaming on Netflix.

Here is a link to the online store. I purchased this one years ago to use while I travel. It includes three live sessions to choose from and each has a different length. And here is a review of the DVD.

Netflix
If you have a subscription to Netflix, this is a great place to test out a variety of videos. In fact, they have an entire genre of yoga. There are a few available for streaming (Crunch has a series which I haven't tried) and a wide selection for renting.

Hulu

If you don't know what Hulu is, you're missing out. As with most things, it used to be cool and has since turned into a subscription service (though many videos are available still for free). There are 150 pages of yoga videos and clips, along with several video channels dedicated to yoga. I can't say that all of them are worthwhile, but if you can find a few that you like you can save them to your favorites and avoid the search query every time.




Of course, you can always check out streaming videos from youtube, purchase videos on amazon (Gaiam has a good AM/PM series), or rent videos from blockbuster. With the popularity of yoga these days, it's all over health and fitness cable channels as well. The lesson is to find what works best for you and find a place to fit it into your routine.

Session 8: How to Breathe

Following a fantastic birthday bash last night (thanks to everyone that came!), I was feeling a little (ahem) less than stellar this morning. In fact, as I nursed myself back to health in the bathtub, I was reminded of something that was mentioned in my first post: the decisions you make today will inevitably come out in your practice tomorrow. Wow, how WISE of me... if only I had thought between the sparking martinis, birthday shots, and endless fried snacks I ate last night...

One thing that I have actually learned in these 8 straight days of yoga is how to breathe. Yoga is kind of amazing like that. After three days, I was holding my "ohms" {we start and end each practice with three ohms, it's actually quite unifying} nearly as long as the instructor. After 4 days, breathing allowed be to get deeper in twists. By 6 days, I was able to find space and breathe through the fire building in my shoulders as we "rested" in downward dog. And after 8 days, I was breathing my way through a very terrible hangover while clinging to the bathtub for dear life. You could say that it is a shame that it took me abusing my insides to realize the true power of breathing, but I say, hell, now I  know it REALLY works! Breathing didn't just heal an upset stomach, it gave me an opportunity to go to brunch with some good friends and spend time catching up.

Corpse pose on blocks. Fantastic stress reliever. Courtesy of greenbrideguide.com.

The practice tonight as all about relaxation. We laid on the floor and experienced subtle twists and movements in an eerily quiet room. We rested on blocks. We kept our eyes closed and listened to our breathing. Our instructor guided us through what it means to be grounded, whole, and present.

And it was, for all intensive purposes, the BEST thing I could have done for myself recovering from a rough morning. If I could make a recommendation to anyone experiencing pain (self-inflicted or otherwise), relaxing yoga will do amazing things for your body. You may be hesitant because resting seems like good medicine, but you're wrong. After an hour of relaxed stretching on the ground (use a video if there is no class available), you will feel like a whole new person with a whole new body. And I can vouch for the effectiveness of relaxing yoga, because this is the third time it has cured a hangover for me.

Here is an article on 10 poses that can help with relaxation, stress relief, and have an added benefit of strengthening your back. The article is write "for brides" but I'm pretty sure other people are also allowed to do them too. Enjoy!

Session 6: Future-thinking

Tonight I had an incredible class. And rather than ranting about how great it was, I wanted to share this story that I came across in researching yoga, the culture, and the theory behind Bikram (more to come soon) because it completely resonated with where I am today and where I will be tomorrow.. when I'm 30.

This is a photo of Sadie, the flash mob instigator

Without quoting the entire article {which you can read here}, a yoga teacher in NYC wanted to celebrate her 40th birthday with a splash. She asked that 40+ women of all shapes and sizes gather and 'strip down to their “boy shorts and tops” to show the world that 40 can be fabulous.' The video is poorly narrated by an adolescent boy, but the hotness of the 40+ women still shines through.

It starts off a little slow, and you honestly think there is a woman on drugs doing yoga in the street, but if you fast forward a couple minutes in, you can see the hotness of the yogis in very little clothing. I have to say, despite the cheap video, it's definitely inspirational to see half-naked 40+ women doing asanas in public.

Here is a better done video with a diverted story. Their mob was cancelled by the MTA police.. so yoginis (yoga practitioners) took to the streets and did crazy poses. It's pretty cool to see. Yoga in random places video.

So there you go, two yoga flash mob videos for your viewing pleasure. Here's to the last day of my 20's and the beginning of a new decade {which I can say with a certain level of confidence that, in part thanks to this experience, I'm not afraid to take on}!  FLASH MOB!

Session 5: A Lion and a Swallow

During tonight's class our instructor mentioned that inside all of us there are two energies - a fierce, unyielding power (lion) and a nurturing, graceful swallow. I think we can all agree that of course that is true. Sometimes I'm super nice, other times I'm, well, not. But lately, I'm mostly the swallow and I can't help wondering if by the end of this whole thing I'm going to end up being one of those uber-nice, sickly sweet, peace-loving people that I used to avoid like the plague simply because I didn't understand them. I guess there are worse things.

Physically, I change every day. In tonight's practice I still needed to take a break at moments when I normally wouldn't need to (if my frequency was one class a week), but my abs are stronger, my arms are more defined, and I feel taller. Legit - I honestly feel like I've grown an inch. When I walk, my body is more upright. When I stand, it's with a surprising presence.

Tadasana (Mountain Pose) courtesy of Yogajournal.com

And so today it seems only appropriate to focus on the tallest of all poses, mountain pose. It's a pose that is often taken for granted. After all, we have been standing most of our lives, so how hard could it be?  My instructor walked us through this tonight and I can tell you, it's not. You can read all about how to do it in this article on Tadasana at yogajournal.com.

Just as with most poses, there are many ways you can approach this posture. The instructor focused on two (the theme was finding unity in opposition). You can muscle through it, pushing yourself harder and deeper just to get through or you can work on flexibility, finding length and space through alignment.



And perhaps the lesson which resignates most with me is that each day, each practice is different. Sometimes you muscle through it and push yourself to build strength and power. And other times you focus on breathing, on finding depth and space in places where you didn't have it before. It's the combination of the two - strength and flexibility, feirce and nuturing, ying and yang - that makes us whole.

To take this one step further, we all have good days and bad days. Understanding that we must experience one to experience the other gives you peace and that, to me, is beautiful.

Session 4: Food = Fuel and Why Salt is OK

Session 4 kicked my butt. Ironically, it was a short basics class which focused mostly on positioning your body correctly in each movement and a lot less posture-intensive from the all levels version. Yet, still, I found myself in child's pose while our instructor narrated breathing through the discomfort in our first position. I "cheated" with knees whenever possible just to give my shoulders a rest. I "took a break" to get hydrated not because I was thirsty, but because I just couldn't hack it. And I celebrated, quietly and to myself, when we reached the end of class.

And since I had reached this point already (didn't I say just yesterday how I couldn't wait for the next class?? That's what I get..), it seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask the instructor for some tips on surviving and thriving (yoga word) in the next month. Here is her advice:

• First, congratulate yourself for making a commitment to furthering your practice and to your physical and (sometimes) spiritual well being. Yoga is a holistic practice which can inspire and change your life {and it has - I'll post more on life changing experiences of others later}.
• Second, don't try to do every move. Instead, only participate in postures that nourish and further your practice {I laughed when she said this - that's easy! I couldn't do them all if I wanted to!}
• Also, make sure to hydrate consistently {more about hydration later}
• When you drink, you want to replace electrolytes lost during the practice. {Full article on hot yoga and electrolytes here through Livestrong.com}
• Make sure to eat salt (especially if you're craving it) {and I was!}
• And if the heat is wearing you down, do a session at home (out of the heat) just to give your body a break or take a day off. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Her advice was, if nothing else, spot on and I appreciated every bit of it. {You don't have to tell me twice to add more salt to my diet!} But there was one piece of advice which I totally threw out the window and I would highly recommend others considering an intense physical commitment like this one to do the same: add more heat!

After a class where my body was absolutely exhausted, sore, and all muddled up with lactic acid, I knew that the best thing for me was to get to a hot tub and work it out.. and that's just what I did. After an hour between the hot tub, the shower, and the steam room at my fru-fru gym (healthworks is one of the top rated women's gyms in the country) I felt like I had switched bodies. It was amazing.

To take this as a lesson, regardless of who you are getting advice from - whether it be a highly practiced yoga instructor or your boss - just keep in mind that sometimes you do know what's best for you. And I don't mean use that as an excuse to avoid doing something you don't want to do - I mean do exactly what is the best thing for your body, mind, or soul regardless of what others think your limitations are.

Session 3: Your Body is a Vehicle

Session 3 came and past with a surprising amount of optimism. I'm definitely achy, but was able to do at least a few sun salutations before hiding in my ball again. I left the class feeling fortunate to have made this commitment to myself and quite energized. Of course I'm sure that was at least in part due to the fact that my favorite instructor hosted the class. 

Favorite pose of the day: Warrior 3

To me, the yoga experience is best sheparded by someone that not only "gets it" (direct quote from Chris) - i.e. understands how each posture translates into the next so the workout has a flow to it - but also adds some life lessons throughout the practice. Tonight there were several lessons, but the one that really stood out to me was 'your body is a vehicle for experience' and that your 'physical condition is not permanent, but always changing.' And when you hear it in class you think about how it's not only true, but beautiful. The transient body helps you to breathe through tough postures and give yourself a break when you can't, because the work you do today will help you be stronger tomorrow.

But then you leave class and normal girl-mind takes over and you think - if my body was a vehicle, it would be an old, out-of-tune, oversized boat and, really, I would prefer it to be a slick sport model. And, frankly, I'm not going to have fantastic abs tomorrow, I'm going to be grouchy and tired and swollen from the 100 ounces of water (ya, that's actually true!) which I have to drink in order to make it through the day. So, with that, I wanted to spend a few moments reflecting on the girl mind how shapes can be deceiving.

So, full disclosure: After Chris and I were engaged last spring my regular gym routine was thrust out the window and replaced with all things wedding. That is to be expected, as planning a wedding (especially in 4 months) is incredibly intense and takes a lot of time to plan. But reducing (or, in my case, eliminating) your exercise routine has its costs. And even if you're a regular pedestrian like me (I walk 3 miles roundtrip every day to/from work), you still need resistance training to maintain a healthy percentage of muscle (yes, it's a good thing, more muscle = higher metabolism and lots of other good things) which leads to a healthier body (vehicle upgrade), improved physical fitness, higher energy levels, and basically you look better naked (definitely recommend the LBN workout through Women's Health Magazine).

The thing is that when you first stop working out, you actually lose weight (i.e. muscle) by doing nothing. You appear to be in better shape. People compliment you on the hard work you must have done to get there. And you feel a sense of totally undeserved accomplishment for it. The reality? You're entering the world of skinny-fat.

I'll post specifically about skinny-fat at some point soon {it's difficult to reference with a quick online search, most sources are crappy blogs (whoops) and muscle building is an industry in itself}. But here's the short of it: you can have a very low body fat percentage and have an equal likelihood of developing the same health-related illnesses (diabetes, fatty liver, etc.) that overweight and obese bodies are commonly associated with. And without getting on a podium and preaching, I'll just say that it's really time to drop the scale and weight-loss mentality and start focusing on body fat percentage. {Since you won't believe me without a photo, check out this blog post (by CrossFit Gym in CA). The article itself gives a few very descriptive pictures and a somewhat distracted overview of skinny-fat, but it's not a bad place to start.}


So I will fully confess that part of my motivation for doing this (a small, small percent) is honestly to hit the restart button on  my health from the very beginning of the year/decade. And, let's face it, cardio routines, exercise machines (also something to avoid, btw), running (which, folks, can also lead to skinny-fat), and free weights are not inspiring enough to deserve 30 days in a row. Besides, yoga can bring you closer to enlightenment.. and if I happen to be able to move into a headstand at the end of it, I won't complain.

Session 2: How to Lose a Liter of Water in 75 Minutes

Want to know how to lose a liter of water in 75 minutes? I'll give you a hint. It involves Day 2 of hot yoga, a hangover, and a liter of water. Mix the three together and you get pools of sweat on your yoga mat significant enough to twist an ankle.

By 60 minutes into class today I was sneaking glances at the empty 24oz. water bottle, which was sitting there teasing me from the top corner of my mat, and just hoping that the next move wouldn't send me running for the faucets. It wasn't just that I was committed to maintaining my concentration, I was also pretty sure that I would vomit if I moved suddenly. So, trapped on my mat, I grinned and bared it- knowing that every motion, every breath, brought me that much closer to shavasana.

The remedy? A towel, any towel will do, and preferably a full liter of water. Lesson learned. (Article on 10 things to know about Bikram yoga)

Earlier today I woke up with a refreshing sense of determination to approach Hot Yoga - Day 2. The birds were singing, it was sunny outside, and I knew I could take a nap when I got home. I forgave myself for arriving home after 4am thanks to a long night in Providence. The night was a total blast, but ended when I gave my oldest friend Katie (we've been friends since we were 5) a concussion thanks to a failed spin move while shuffling to 50s music in a dive bar. The result? Her head was bleeding and I kinked my right ankle and wrist in a way that left us both in pain, doing the yoga warrior series at 3am while eating pizza, and keeping her awake long enough to know she wasn't going to slip into a coma. Man, my life is not normally this exciting, but I wonder how it bodes for the rest of the year!

Today this was by far my best pose.
Photo Courtesy of Benefits-Of-Hot-Yoga.org

The class itself was just as challenging as the day before, but with the aches of yoga past coupled with the mild wrist injury and intensive sun salutations pushed me to spend a lot of time catching my breath in child's pose. Actually, I was quite literally chasing breath.. which was strange since aerobic exercise is not something you typically associate with calming, meditative yoga, so I'll give you a little more on that.

One of the unique focuses of this particular practice (which initially turned me off of the studio) is that it is very physically demanding. It's kind of like taking a regular yoga class, placing it in the deep rainforest, and demanding sprints in between poses while balancing on a mountain face. If you're not consciously aware of what is going on, it's actually pretty easy to overextend and wind up in a protective ball (i.e. child's pose), grasping the ground, and crawling to your water bottle just for relief. It's certainly not something for everyone, but knowing what you're in for is a good place to start.

Child's Pose. Photo courtesy of YogaXTC.com

With all of that said, I was still surprised to find myself searching for breath in child's pose while the other "all levels yogis" in my class jumped between downward dog and mountain pose with excited jubilation. They weren't just saluting the sun, they were saluting the entire year while I lay in a ball on my mat try to stay alive. Shortly after the sun salutations, the instructor recommended we do an arm balance. I emerged from my ball and looked at my mat.. and that's about as far as it got.

So my lesson for today is all about the resources you need to get through class. It's one thing to show up, mat in hand, and be content with yourself.. it's another to be prepared for the task at hand. You're far less likely to reach your potential if you don't have the tools you need to get there, and having a hand towel and full liter of water is a good place to start.

Your Body on Hot Yoga: First 9 Hours

I wanted to include an update on what has happened following my first session and remark on what I'm in for in the next month.

I left my first session totally exhausted, yet energized, feeling a sense of pride in my accomplishments. I was able hold more poses than I thought and, following the instruction of our teacher, started my practice from scratch - assuming no prior expertise and completely open to re-learning every pose. I didn't judge myself or have grand expectations, greeted each pose without judgement, and kept an open mind to see where I could go.

After class I went home to an apartment filled with friends just waking up following our New Years Eve event and Chris in the kitchen prepping brunch. I had a sense of pride and strutted my way in through the doorway to greet everyone lazily lounging on the couch. I smiled, yoga mat in hand, and prepared for the grand moment where I could satisfyingly show them up for ever doubting me. With a sly 'I told you so' grin, I walked into the living room to be greeted by a friend says "wow, you actually did hot yoga this morning? You look like hell." Well, there you go. I guess that's what I get for trying to show them up in the first place. My balloon deflated. I retreated to the shower.

Twisting pose - Courtesy of YogAnonymous.org

In the hours that followed, I ate and drank brunch as normal and enjoyed a bloody mary despite the small voice inside of me that would have preferred lighter fare. Naptime pronounced itself quite suddenly sometime during the first quarter of the Patriot's game and continued for a solid 3 hours. Upon awakening, I pooped, drank a gallon of water, had a snack, and pooped again (common side effect of hot yoga - lots of twists are great for your digestive tract! more on twisting in this article). By 6pm, the Patriots had long since won the game (with 49 unanswered points!) and I finally felt human enough to clean myself up, get fancy, and head down south for a night out with friends.

I was certainly thankful for starting this effort with a day off. Not sure if I really would have been able to do this without having a lot of down time.. mostly because of the sleep deprivation and drinking, of course! But as I head out I wonder how my choices tonight (yoga rule: you will be reminded of what you previously ate and drank during class) will affect me tomorrow and with one more day off before the start of the workweek, I take comfort knowing that tomorrow comes without obligation. If I were to take a lesson from the experience so far, it would be that everything seems so much easier when you relax expectations and allow yourself to be a part of each moment as it comes. Now if only I could actually apply that to the rest of my life...

Session 1: The (Post-Hangover) Test-Run

Well that was different. In my first post I mentioned that there were two studios that I belonged to: one was easier and smelled nice and the other was much harder but the instruction was superior. I chose the hard one.

Born Yogis is a book about how babies are natural yogis

My first session was an intense 90-minute all-levels class. At the studio, sessions are either basics, all levels, or intermediate. Most all levels classes are 75 minutes in a 90+ degree room with 20 and 40 other people who look like they were born doing one-legged dogs and yoga handstands (see photo.. apparently people really are born doing yoga). Today, thankfully, the class was a handful of misfits (like me) that were exhausted, uncoordinated, mildly hungover, and painfully committed to making it through their first class of 2012- even if they mostly laid in child's pose and were 3-moves behind in sun salutations. And we were.

One of the things I like most about this studio is that, in addition to fantastic instruction, they have assistants that come around the room and gently guide you into the position you're actually supposed to be in through a series of gentle hand movements on your respective parts. At first, this is awkward.. especially if you're like me and grew up in a WASP-y family that never hugged. After several years of practice, my husband (Chris), his family, and a series of friends (like Katie) have finally desensitized me to physical contact with others. And that, coupled with several years of occasional assisted yoga, I have not only become comfortable with this concept, I welcome it. Except, of course, when I'm in the condition I was in today.

You may recall that January starts with a national holiday where most people drink too much to compensate for the disappointment that nearly always comes from an unrealistic perception of how New Year's Eve should be celebrated. When the night turns out to not meet those expectations, we compensate by eating, drinking, and dancing too much. Knowing that I was planning to start the next day with an intense yoga session, however, I tempered my expectations (and drinking) to a more reasonable level. The champagne toast at midnight was my last drink, and I remained sober enough to drive my friend group 1.4 miles from the bar to our apartment.

Photo Courtesy of OhMyBikram Blog

But hot yoga isn't just a workout - it's a sweat out. And midway through class I smelled so profusely of boos and fried food that I couldn't stand myself (article on what your sweat taste says about your diet). This was somewhat acceptable because there were so few of us in class that there was plenty of buffer space between mats and my fellow yogis at least wouldn't get more than a whiff of my stench. But, of course, we had an assisted class with that sweet older lady that had kind eyes and an encouraging smile. Every time the she came to assist my movements I was apprehensive - partially because I was starting to feel sick from dehydration and lack of sleep and partly because I was the smelly kid in class and I was confident she thought so too.

The class went on. I was able to keep up fairly well and paced myself far better than I normally do. Turns out it's actually a lot easier to pace yourself when you know you'll be back tomorrow. Though it was mostly fear of injury that won over getting the absolute most out of every class.

A real yogi would say that there is no 'most' or 'best' and that you should listen to how your body responds to where it is at that moment. A real yogi would also not view 30 as the end of days. But I'm not a real yogi.. just a misfit working towards some goals I haven't really been able to articulate yet. Maybe I'm more like a misfit in search of goals.

Goals and Resolutions

With my first session in less than an hour, I wanted to post quickly about the goals I have for this effort.

1. I hope to actually get up the nerve to buy a monthly pass.
2. I would like to at least get through enough sessions to say I tried.
3. I will attend every session without judging myself based on outcomes.
4. I will actually follow the third goal, even if that means that I spend the entire time in child's pose, sweating profusely, and wishing I chose another 30-day challenge.
5. I will do my best to access some level of personal and, to use a yogi term, spiritual growth through development of my practice.

There are probably more, but that's a good start. At this point, I'm operating on only a few hours of sleep thanks to New Year's Eve with a slight hangover, mild dehydration, and an icky feeling in my stomach. And yet I'm doggedly committed to at least attending one session while everyone else in my apartment (a handful of friends stayed over last night) sleeps off our hardy celebration in anticipation of brunch.

But I can honestly say that today, or at least right now, my main resolution is to prove my friends wrong (votes were about 70/30 for me NOT making it to class today) and go to class even if I have to run out of the studio to vomit and sleep through the Patriot's game while nursing myself towards recovery for the mistakes that I made in committing to this silly goal to begin with. Cheers and happy new year!!